Monthly Archives: April 2014

As Difficult as the Splitting of the Red Sea

On the seventh day of Pesach, we read the portion about the splitting of the Red Sea. The Talmud teaches us that finding one’s shidduch is as difficult as the splitting of the Red Sea.  At first glance, the simple explanation would be referring to the magnitude of the miracle and how humanly trying it is to perform such a feat. Thus we can only depend on the Almighty Hashem to be the ultimate Shadchan.

Another little-known fact is that the Yidden didn’t actually cross the sea. Their path was a big U-shape, beginning and ending on the same bank. This meant that not everyone spent the same amount of time “in the water.” Those who were on the inside lane had a short sojourn in the dried-up sea, while those in the outer lanes had a longer trek. read more

Don’t Be Cheap on Someone Else’s Account

At the shul I attended the Shabbos before Pesach, Shabbos Hagadol, the Rov gave his annual Shabbos Hagodal drosha. He first reviewed all the halachos pertinent to preparing for Pesach, getting rid of one’s chametz and halochos directly related to the sedarim.

Amongst the many topics addressed was the importance of buying one’s wife a piece of jewelery, new clothing and/or a gift for Yom Tov. After all, its in the zechus of noshim tziddkoniyois the yidden were redeemed from slavery in Egypt. And likewise in their zechus will be the ultimate redemption.

I will not claim it to be the norm by any stretch of the imagination. However, it is not uncommon to receive a profile from a bochur who is seeking a non-materialistic wife, who places more emphasis on the spiritual than parading the local mall. read more

Dating and Other Suggestions Simultaneously

From the ShadchanCOACH mail inbox:

Rabbi, I can’t believe this. It’s outrageous!!! My daughter has agreed to date a bochur. Dor yesharim was exchanged and we were given the green light. Meanwhile, I heard through the grapevine that his mother is still accepting suggestions and checking out prospective profiles. This is totally offensive. Before I call off the date, what is your opinion and how should it be handled?

ShadchanCOACH response:

Dear Mother of Girl,

I see no problem with a parent accepting other suggestions and even doing some research while her child is committed to a date. Compatible suggestions are so hard to come by and checking each one out is so time consuming, I see no benefit in putting all on hold when the child is dating. Realistically, more dates do not work out than do. read more