Monthly Archives: May 2014

A Mother Wife or Trophy Wife – Take Your Pick

With the world celebrating Mother’s Day, it occurred to me that one of the prime questions a bochur/guy should be asking himself is, “what type of wife do I want to be the mother of my children?”

Yet more often than not, I hear or sense that the only interest the guys have is if she has the looks to be a “trophy wife”. Someone he can gloat about when parading down Central Avenue.  Someone he can pose with in photos that he feels needs to be posted on Facebook.

Being a mother wife is not mutually exclusive to being an attractive wife. And believe it or not, many guys (I hope all think so) luck out with both when they get engaged and married. read more

Who Are You Today

Very often I will hear how suggestions being made by family, friends, neighbors and shadchanim are way out of the ball park. The question is WHY? Do people looking out for your interests have no clue who you are you? Or more likely, have your choices and standards changed without telling anybody?

I once received a profile from someone who is chassidish, attends shiurim and minyan, wants an open house Chabad House style etc etc. A number of months later I was given a profile of someone who enjoys the outdoors, hobbies include…, likes… however no mention of chassidishkeit.  read more

Yichus – Do You Come From Royal Stock?

It is known that the Holy Rebbe of Rhuzin was arranging a shidduch with the Holy Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch from Riminov. The Holy Rebbe of Rhuzin was known to be the most illustrious of his generation, whereas Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch was known in his youth to be a tailor’s assistant.

Before they performed the “tena’im – agreement of marriage conditions”, the Rhuziner said to the Rimnover ” the custom by us is, before finalizing a shidduch, we count all the tzaddikim from past generations to impose their merits upon their children. “My father”, says the Rhuziner, ” was the Holy Reb Shalom Shachna from Provitch, my grandfather was Reb Avrohom the Malach, and my great-grandfather from my father’s side was the Maggid of Mezeritch. I am also the grandson of the ‘Me’or Einayim’ – the Chernobyl Maggid, and my uncle was Reb Mordechai from Chernobyl. This is my yichus! Now my honored mechuten, relate to me your yichus.” read more