Monthly Archives: February 2015

Call, Skype or Facetime

Skype logoMy opinion on Coffee Dating has been well documented. See the post from March 20 2014 on www.shadchancoach.com in Tip of the Week“Coffee Dating – Quick and Easy” (from 11/20/13).

What about conducting the first date via skype or facetime, or even a phone call first? Saves money and time.

In general I am opposed to using such methods for dating. Live personal interaction has its advantages that can’t be appreciated through technology. To build chemistry, dating in person 1-on-1 is preferred. The whole dating experience becomes real whereas over the internet, it’s too remote. The vibe is comprised. Mannerisms can’t be truly assessed. read more

Take A Break

Take a breakFrom time to time, I have been consulted with regard to taking a break when dating to have time to reflect and clarify ones emotional feelings towards the other. The Rebbe has answered on numerous occasions addressing one’s doubt about “המשכת הלב – emotional feelings of the heart”. As illustrated with the Rebbe’s responsa below.

Eternal Joy Vol 1Chapter Nine
Resolving Doubts in Approaching a Shidduch

“It also seems from your letter that, as of yet, you are not at all entirely sure about your general attitude regarding this young man. In such a situation, the proper approach is to cease meeting — or even writing letters to — each other for a few weeks. This period of noncommunication inevitably results in clarifying one’s feelings, whether positive or negative. read more

The Ten Commandments for a Husband

ten commandments marriageSo many times I review what men are looking for in a spouse. Often they fail to take into account what type of role they need to play to be a worthwhile husband and father.

Here are some thoughts on what will make a successful marriage by Rabbi Lazer Brody.

When dating, keep in mind if you are prepared to fulfill your part of the relationship.

“There are some basic guidelines that work for any marriage, despite religious or cultural background. If you follow these simple points, you’ll have a happy wife and your relationship will blossom. Real love comes with real commitment, and that begins only after you’ve taken the vows. Here are a few pointers that have never failed (if you follow them, I’ll guarantee you a happy home until you and your wife reach 120): read more