I have always been intrigued with personality types and over time I have applied my understanding of people’s personalities to matchmaking, counselling, dealing and avoiding conflict. Everyone can benefit from understanding their own personality and that of others. As parents we are constantly raising our children. As teachers we need to tap into the individuality of each student. In marriage, we need to relate to our spouses. As employers, we need to understand the strengths and weaknesses of our employees so they can utilize their talents and skills to the best of their abilities. As Rabbis we need to cater to different types of people in our communities. As camp counselors we need to take care of children who live and interact in the same bunk/group. Understanding everyone’s personality makes it so much easier deal with.
People skills are essential in all walks of life. And it starts with knowing oneself first.
This is especially applicable when it comes to dating. On the profile template I made for those writing their own shidduch profile, one of the options I included to be addressed is a paragraph about “SELF”; the other a paragraph about “SEEKING”. For many, describing oneself can be extremely challenging. An honest description that will be broadcast all over the internet can be a very daunting exercise.
Knowing oneself also helps one understand what type of person may be best for them to seek as well. It also makes for great engaging conversation when dating becomes serious and the dating couple are looking to “take it to the next level”.
Is there a source for Personality Types in the Torah? Is this something we should entertain?
The truth is, everything emanates from Torah. In fact, last week we concluded Sefer Bereishis where Yaakov Avinu blessed each one of his children during his last days. The Torah tells us: “וַיְבָרֶךְ אוֹתָם אִישׁ אֲשֶׁר כְּבִרְכָתוֹ בֵּרַךְ אֹתָם – And Yaakov blessed them; each man, according to his blessing, he blessed them”. What is implied by telling us: each man according to his blessing he blessed them?
Each of the children (tribes) had his own customised and precise identity and character traits that needed to be explored and refined in order to fulfill his mission in this world. In fact, the names of each tribe reflects the innate path each tribe needed to venture.
Yaakov identified the specific personalities of his children and blessed them accordingly.
If you are curious as to what type of personality you, your child or person dating is, I suggest you take the following free test which only takes about 12 minutes. The results are pretty accurate.
Let me know how you faired 😉