The following is extracted from the daily study lesson for Rosh Chodesh Iyar, in the book Hayom Yom (which is a calendar for the Hebrew year, compiled by the Lubavitcher Rebbe Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson at the behest of his father-in-law, the previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn).
At a farbrengen (chassidic gathering) during the days of sefira (at some time in the years 5651-5653, 1891-1893) someone said to my father (the fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe, The Rebbe Rashab), “The Alter Rebbe’s chassidim were always keeping count.” My father took a great liking to the saying, and he commented: “That idea characterizes man’s avoda. The hours must be ‘counted hours,’ then the days will be ‘counted days.’ When a day passes one should know what he has accomplished and what remains yet to be done… In general, one should always see to it that tomorrow should be much better than today.”
“Don’t Count the days, make the days count.” This is a very important guideline for those “days”, which can turn into months and sometimes years that we are counting down till we find our bashert. Instead of just counting the days, which can be frustrating and depressing, let’s make the days count! Let’s utilize this time to prepare ourselves for a great marriage and grow in those areas necessary for dating and for us to be the best possible spouse. This is a very personal and individual journey for every single to navigate.
Use every dating experience to better and learn more about oneself. Analyze why particular suggestions are being made. If they are way off the mark, is it because you are not presenting yourself accurately? Or maybe people are looking at only your age and height and are shooting in the dark? Every dating experience should be utilized to enhance the process moving forward.
Count סופר the days as if you are counting gems and diamonds ספיר. Because then you will have a wonderful story סיפור to tell your children and grandchildren.